Health Coach burnout!
Recently I tasted burnout again. I came close!
But how? You are a Health Coach, aren’t you? Don’t you know better?
Well, what I learnt was that I might know a lot about health and the human body but that doesn’t stop me from being as vulnerable as anyone else to burnout. It creeps up on you when you least expect it. So silently, stealth like. Your mind makes a million excuses for the level of energy you are putting into your life: “it’s ok to drive yourself this hard because it will slow down after the next deadline”…but it never does! And then boom….you burn out!
A friend of mine encouraged me to share this story and my learnings from it in the hope that it can support others to read the signs and ‘put the mask on you first!’ before it’s too late. So here goes!
High level of expectations:
For those who know me, they know that when I put my mind to something, it’s 100%…in fact…120%!!
So taking 25 years of leadership knowledge and another 20+ years of health and nutrition and pouring that into The Thrive Collective was never going to be a small side gig. I threw myself into it 100% because I knew I could help other leaders with their health so they didn’t fall into the typical traps of stress, weight gain, lack of sleep, inflammation and worse of all chronic illness! As many entrepreneurs will know, starting a business is hard! It takes a HUGE amount of energy! And I thought leadership was full on! They are both full on!
However, Thrive isn’t my full time gig. I lead a programme called A Lighter Touch (helping NZ crop growers, grow food with a lot less synthetic chemistry) and I’m also on two Boards.
I cherish my work across these organisations. The impact that the programme and organisations have on the wellbeing and future of New Zealanders is inspiring. The science is incredible!
So there’s me…putting 100% into all of the above…what could go wrong?
There is always just one moment:
It all happened in one week. In the space of 5 working days I had one board that I was leading for the A Lighter Touch programme and two back to back full board days where I was the Director. On top of the reading, planning, and strategic thinking in preparation for these board days, I also had the whispers of my growing business in my head. “Don’t forget to deliver your content”, “Write your blog for the week..”, “Have you done your bank reconciliation and invoices?”.
I started to lean into the old vices I used in my advertising days just to get through. Yep real coffee (with actual caffeine!), the sugary treats at morning tea, more caffeine, oh and those muffins! Why not?! And at the end of the day…yep…that glass of wine was great because “I deserve it!”. Which, you guessed it, led to a bad night sleep and more caffeine in the morning to keep me going.
Needless to say I burnt the candle that week. Did I achieve all I had to do for my roles? Yes. Did I feel like I contributed to each of them? Yes. However, it was at my own cost.
By the end of that week, I was spent. Cranky. Lost. Stuck. I knew I was heading down the path to burnout. I recognised that feeling of hopelessness. Of, “I just need to keep going”. I love all that I do but I knew, deep (deep, deep) down, that I couldn’t do it all. But I equally couldn’t give anything up…or could I?
Change of perspective:
That Friday I caught up with a bunch of fabulous women for breakfast and it happened to be one of those serendipity moments. One of these wonderful women was telling a story about her progress from a tough beginning of the year to where she found herself now. In a good, contented space. How did she get there? She didn’t physically change roles, or routine or what she ate. She simply changed her perspective on what was actually important to her.
She dug deep on what success looked like for her. Not her mum, her friends, her boss or co-workers. Herself. Mask on her first. What life did she want to lead? Once she nailed what that was, how she structured her life was a means to that end. Simple!
Having read the signs that I was working my way to burnout (using all the vices in the tool box to keep me going), I took the leap of faith and looked at what I wanted from my life? What did success look like for me. What brought me joy right now and where did I want to end up? Yes, I’m 50 but these are still such critical questions to answer at any age!
I was lucky to have time for a boat trip!
Family, food, adventures, and making a difference for the health of people and the planet through food. All of that was still the same for me. So the change wasn’t in my passion. However, how that passion came to life was where my change in perspective happened.
The shift for me is that there is a time and a place for everything and it doesn’t have to be all at once. Although, to some of you, this sounds obvious, but for me, this was hard. It meant I had to let go of the high expectations of myself without feeling I’d let myself or others down. It meant I had to allow myself to do something at 50% or even 30% and stop feeling guilty for it! I had to get a hold of my ego, sit it down and put it back in its place.
So, if you have been following The Thrive Collective, you might have seen that I took a break from building the Thrive Business. That my content sharing has really slowed down. That I took a break from blog writing and Foodie Friday as I re-grouped. And surprise, the sky didn’t fall down! My family and friends are still there and the world keeps ticking over.
Lesson: most (if not all) people are focused on their own lives and the expectations you set are really in your own head!
I still want to help leaders with their health. However, I now realise this doesn’t have to be through a fully built up successful business. Writing my blogs when I can fit them in and when I feel inspired, will do this. Sending out recipes on Fridays that I know will support busy leaders out there, will also still make a difference. Not requiring myself to build this passion into an overnight success has been a real shift for me and taken the weight off my shoulders. The right time and place for The Thrive Collective in its full capacity will come. It’s just not now. Now, I’m going to have fun with it. Share my knowledge when I feel it. Share some great recipes when I can. No pressure. Just enjoyment!
The key learnings:
If you are leaning on vices to keep you ‘pepped up’ just to get through your day…you might be heading for burnout. Stop. Look around.
If you are working all hours in all your roles (including parenting, friend and more), saying to yourself ‘it’s only this week, next week will get better’. Stop Look around.
If you are struggling with bad sleep, getting one cold after the next, feeling exhausted, cranky and even slightly depressed. Stop. Look around.
If this is you, I would challenge you to take some time out (and this doesn’t need to be long at all!) and see what perspective you have that might need to shift. Then make that shift. Obviously there are bills to pay and kids to get to school. But seriously, I’m sure there are some perspectives you can shift to help yourself which will ultimately help all those around you.
Take this precious time to put the mask on you first before you end up having it put on you because you’ve burnt out.
Put the mask on you first, change your perspective and thrive again!
Subscribe now to get these blogs delivered direct to your inbox and get your FREE Top Sleep Tips PDF.